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How to be confident (even if you’re not) | Montana von Fliss | TEDxBellevueWomen

TEDx Talks

4.6M views 1 year ago

Warm-up Questions

What situations in life make you want to feel more confident (for example: presentations, meetings, interviews)?
What do you think “being confident (even if you’re not)” might mean in a TEDx talk?
If you could learn one confidence skill quickly, what would you choose: voice, body language, or mindset?

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Start With: Word Definition

Order: Alphabetical Random

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How to be confident (even if you’re not) | Montana von Fliss | TEDxBellevueWomen

The “captain” idea + Tips 1–3 (voice, pauses, body language) (00:00 – 05:25)

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1. In the opening boat example, what does the speaker say the audience wants from the captain?

A captain who admits they are nervous so people understand
A captain who introduces themself clearly and sounds sure
A captain who jokes a lot to relax everyone

2. What does the speaker say was really different between the “nervous” and “confident” versions?

She had memorized the perfect script in the confident version
She stopped caring what the audience thought
She changed physical and vocal choices even though she didn’t feel confident

3. For tip #2, what does the speaker recommend instead of just speaking more slowly?

Making strategic pauses (for transition and emphasis)
Using more jokes to create time to breathe
Replacing pauses with more filler words to sound natural

How to be confident (even if you’re not) | Montana von Fliss | TEDxBellevueWomen

Tip 4: Practice with purpose (rehearsal habits that build confidence) (05:25 – 08:06)

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1. What does the speaker suggest you do if it’s a week before your event?

Only practice the middle section because it’s the hardest
Stop practicing to avoid overthinking
Run the whole talk through at least once a day

2. If you have no time for a full run-through, what does she recommend practicing?

Only your Q&A answers
The opening and closing, three times in a row
Only your slides, without speaking

3. What does she say she means by “practice”?

Standing up and saying it out loud, imagining the audience
Writing the talk again to improve the wording
Reading the script quietly to yourself

How to be confident (even if you’re not) | Montana von Fliss | TEDxBellevueWomen

Tip 5: The “silent sentence” (self-talk, purpose, and presence) + conclusion (08:06 – 16:08)

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1. What is the “silent sentence” mainly about?

What you choose to tell yourself internally
How to hide your mistakes by speaking faster
How to write shorter slide text

2. What was the speaker’s first silent sentence?

I want to help my audience to the best of my ability.
I hope no one notices I’m nervous.
I will be perfect on stage.

3. How does the speaker suggest you practice the silent sentence?

Avoid it in rehearsal so it stays powerful for the real event
Practice it as much as the words you say out loud, linking silent and spoken parts
Only think it once right before you start

How to be confident (even if you’re not) | Montana von Fliss | TEDxBellevueWomen

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1. What is the main message of the talk?

Confidence is something you either have or you don’t, so you should avoid public speaking
You can look and act confident through specific choices, and you can also change your inner message
The best way to be confident is to use humor and avoid pauses

2. Which combination best matches the speaker’s five tips?

Speak quietly, avoid pausing, sit still, memorize every word, ignore your thoughts
Use complicated vocabulary, never rehearse, focus on being perfect, rush through the ending
Turn up energy/speak up, strategic pauses, superhero stance, practice with purpose, silent sentence

3. Why does the speaker say “making the shape” works?

Because audiences can accurately read your mind
Because body language matters more than the message
Because audiences judge confidence from visible and audible signals, not your private feelings

Discussion Questions

Discuss the ideas from this video

How to be confident (even if you’re not) | Montana von Fliss | TEDxBellevueWomen

Which of the five tips would help you most right now, and why?
Do you agree that it’s okay to “look confident” even when you feel nervous? Why or why not?
What might be a helpful “silent sentence” for you before a stressful conversation or presentation?
The speaker says audiences feel “relief” when a speaker seems confident. What actions from a speaker create that feeling for you?