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B2

How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It

How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It

Harvard Business Review

2.6M views 3 years ago

Warm-up Questions

What do you think makes small talk difficult for many people?
In what situations do you usually have small talk with new people?
Do you think it is possible to enjoy small talk? Why or why not?

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How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It

Rethinking small talk and slowing down (00:00 – 03:34)

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1. How does the speaker suggest we should view small talk?

As a chance to give long answers
As a formal test of speaking ability
As a competition to impress others
As a collaborative activity to keep conversation going

2. According to the speaker, what should your goal be in small talk?

To control the topic
To speak as quickly as possible
To sound intelligent
To be interested, not interesting

3. Why does paraphrasing help in conversation?

It forces you to slow down and listen carefully
It helps you change the topic quickly
It shows that you agree with everything
It makes you sound more powerful

How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It

Keeping the conversation going and speaking clearly (03:34 – 07:50)

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1. What simple phrase does the speaker recommend when you do not know what to say?

I totally agree
Let's change the subject
Tell me more
Can you repeat everything?

2. How does the speaker suggest we think about mistakes in communication?

As signs to stop talking
As missed takes
As something to hide
As proof of failure

3. What are the speaker's three guiding questions for clear communication?

What, why, how
What, so what, now what
Who, where, when
Start, middle, end

How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It

Starting and ending small talk effectively (07:50 – 10:25)

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1. What problem does the speaker see with common opening questions like 'How are you?'

They sound too formal
They are too difficult to answer
They do not take the conversation very far
They are too rude

2. What did the speaker notice to start one conversation?

The music was too loud
The food looked expensive
Many people were wearing blue shirts
Someone was reading a book

3. What is the 'white flag approach' used for?

Starting a presentation
Winning an argument
Ending a small talk conversation smoothly
Avoiding all personal questions

How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It

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1. What is one central message of the video?

The best small talk comes from memorizing many scripts
Small talk becomes easier when you focus on connection rather than performance
Talking more is usually better than listening
Small talk is mostly useless in professional life

2. Which technique does the speaker recommend to manage pressure in spontaneous conversation?

Speak in the most detailed way possible
Avoid asking questions
Use paraphrasing and short pauses
Respond immediately to sound confident

3. According to the video, what makes a strong conversation opener?

A surprising observation connected to the context
A yes-or-no question with no follow-up
A personal complaint
A long self-introduction

Discussion Questions

Discuss the ideas from this video

How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It

Which idea from the video would help you most in real small talk situations? Why?
Do you agree that the goal should be to be interested, not interesting? Explain your opinion.
What kinds of context-based conversation starters could you use at school, work, or social events?
How do you usually end conversations, and how could the 'white flag approach' improve that?

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