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The Real Reason Confidence Disappears When You Need It Most | Lynn Smith | TEDxEustis

TEDx Talks

6,921 views 2 weeks ago

Warm-up Questions

What situations make people lose confidence when they need it most?
What do you think the “real reason” confidence disappears might be?
Where do you think this talk will be most useful: school, work, or public speaking? Why?

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The Real Reason Confidence Disappears When You Need It Most | Lynn Smith | TEDxEustis

A confidence crash on stage (and why it matters) (00:00 – 03:13)

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1. What happens to the speaker at the start of the keynote?

She speaks confidently and the audience applauds.
She gets interrupted by technical problems.
She forgets her words and freezes on stage.
She decides not to go on stage at all.

2. What does the speaker say was the real problem that day?

The audience was unfriendly.
She didn’t prepare the content well enough.
She didn’t have enough knowledge or skill.
She was afraid.

3. Why did speaking to millions feel easier than speaking live in a room?

She always read from a script in the studio.
She only interviewed other people on TV.
A studio had better lighting and sound.
She could rely on a camera and didn’t have to look at faces.

The Real Reason Confidence Disappears When You Need It Most | Lynn Smith | TEDxEustis

The “brain bully” and the biology of fear (03:13 – 07:06)

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1. What does the speaker call the fear/inner critic?

Your brain bully
The spotlight effect
The success instinct
Your confidence switch

2. What childhood moment taught the speaker that speaking up could be dangerous?

Getting lost during a school trip
Forgetting lines in a school play
Answering a question incorrectly and being laughed at
Failing a big exam

3. According to the speaker, what happens when the mind 'sounds the alarm'?

The fight, flight or freeze response is triggered.
The body becomes calmer and more focused.
The brain stops processing any emotions.
The logical brain takes control immediately.

The Real Reason Confidence Disappears When You Need It Most | Lynn Smith | TEDxEustis

A three-step method: name it, claim it, reframe it (07:06 – 09:51)

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1. What is the first step in the speaker’s three-step method?

Reframe it
Name it
Ignore it
Avoid it

2. What does the speaker say happens when you name the inner critic?

You stop caring what others think.
You externalize it from who you are.
You become more competitive.
You eliminate fear permanently.

3. At the end, what is the main message about what’s “broken” in high-stakes moments?

Your communication is broken.
Your preparation methods don’t work.
Your mind is trying to keep you safe in an outdated way.
Your audience is judging you too harshly.

The Real Reason Confidence Disappears When You Need It Most | Lynn Smith | TEDxEustis

Transcript will load here…

1. What is the central claim of the talk?

Confidence mainly comes from practicing speaking techniques.
Only inexperienced people struggle with public speaking.
The best way to overcome fear is to avoid high-pressure situations.
Fear is a universal, biological response that can be redirected with mindset changes.

2. What is the purpose of calling fear a “brain bully”?

To describe an internal voice that predicts negative outcomes and takes control
To explain that confidence depends on other people’s opinions
To argue that anxiety is caused by food and sleep habits
To show that fear is always imaginary and should be ignored

3. Why does reframing help, according to the speaker?

It removes all emotions from decision-making.
It makes other people support you automatically.
It changes the body’s reaction and helps the brain function better.
It guarantees you will succeed every time.

Discussion Questions

Discuss the ideas from this video

The Real Reason Confidence Disappears When You Need It Most | Lynn Smith | TEDxEustis

What is a “high stakes communication event” in your life (work, school, relationships)? What usually triggers fear for you?
Do you agree that fear is trying to protect you rather than sabotage you? Why or why not?
Which step seems easiest for you (name it, claim it, reframe it) and which is hardest? Explain.
What is one negative “what if” thought you often have, and how could you reframe it into a useful “what if”?